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Ah Beng's Story
Ah Beng - NEW STUFF
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Ah Beng bought a new mobile.He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,"My Mobile No. Has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"
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Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
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Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
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Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
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Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,Oh GOD! U have come again.
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Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."
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Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."
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How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erasesthe board.
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Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecastannounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it wouldbe hot.
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Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"
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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?===================================================
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"
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Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."
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A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and notin the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM


Phua CHu Kang 18SX

Phua Chu Kang's Sex Education
Phua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over anddig your nose, you like or not ? ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses ?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh ?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ..........

Aloy : Why is! it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove onyour finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not ?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ......... you goand dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupidlah!!

Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also